Words Matter: The Power of Positive Adoption Language

Language shapes our perceptions and beliefs about the world around us, often in subtle ways. When it comes to adoption, the words we choose can have a profound impact on how adoption is perceived and experienced by all parties involved.

Shifting from Negative to Positive Language

Many common phrases used in adoption discussions can unintentionally convey negative messages. For example, terms like "giving up for adoption" or referring to biological parents as "real" parents can be harmful to adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive families. Positive adoption language aims to:

  1. Correct outdated stigmas associated with adoption
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  3. Honor the choices made by birth parents
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  5. Affirm the role of adoptive parents as a child's family
  6.  
  7. Promote confidence and clarity in adopted children

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Say This, Not That

AM Table Words Matter

Phrases to Eliminate

These phrases reflect a profound lack of understanding about adoption and should be avoided: 

"You're so lucky to have been adopted."

"It's wonderful that you adopted a child in need."

"I could never raise someone else's child."

“I could never give my child away”

Statements like these can imply that adopted children should feel grateful, that adoptive parents are saviors, or that biological connections are essential for loving parent-child relationships.

Be an
Adoption Language Advocate.

Changing society's understanding of adoption starts with changing the way we talk about it. Here are some ways to promote language that better reflects the truth of adoption:

  • Be mindful of your own language: Catch yourself when using outdated terms and make a conscious effort to replace them with positive alternatives.
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  • Educate others: Gently correct friends and family when they use negative adoption language, explaining the importance of word choice.
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  • Lead by example: Consistently use positive adoption language in your own conversations and writing.

By embracing positive adoption language, we can help create a more inclusive and supportive environment for all members of the adoption community. Every word counts in shaping a more positive narrative around adoption.

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